The Market is crashing because the Illuminati is trying to stop me from getting rich

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Best believe, it’s deliberate. How do I know? I just do. They’re watching me. Watching how I invest. When I invest in something, they move to sink it. When I pull out, they inflate it.

It’s the Illuminati’s fault. They’re afraid that if I get rich, it could spell the end of the world because I’m just that important. You may wonder how they know so much about me, well… the answer is super science and dark magic. You guys saw Dr. Strange 2. Their fear is real.

We need to ban together, find the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, defeat the Illuminati, and obtain the lambos promised to us in the telegram chats.

Who’s down?

submitted by /u/Fuck_ODriscolls
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