Safemoon investors: “Do you have updates on the promised roadmap items?” Safemoon CEO: “Shut up, I’mplaying Halo”


Maybe one day I’ll be able to stop posting about this continuing clusterfuck that remains Cryptocurrencies most-drama and forehead-smacking project.

If you missed previous parts, fill your boots:

///////Part 1: Safemoon’s performance of Mental Gymnastics in the Tokyo 2020 Olympics has been simply stunning. They deserve every Gold they’ve been given.

///////Part 2 &1/2: Safemoon has been exploited from day 1 and $68,460,000 have been siphoned out of the liquidity pool. This gets auto-deleted from their sub. Explanation in comments

///////Part 33 &1/3: Last call for Safemoon. The curtains are drawing on this omnishambles of a project.

///////Part 44 &1/4: Like rats fleeing a sinking ship, Safemoon’s core developers peel away one by one as the price plummets and one single question remains unanswered – WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING?

///////Part 55 &1/5: History Repeats Itself: another high ranking Safemoon official slinks out the back door, price goes through the floor.

Many moons ago, safemooners got themselves in a tizzy about a cryptic date left intentionally on some marketing material distributed by official Safemoon communication. There was a hell of a lot of speculation on what this meant, as well as confusion on the dates. In American, it reads the 12th of September 2021. Sure enough, that date came and went without any ceremony so of course the narrative shifted effortlessly to “Ah, CEO John Karony is using English date format, as COO Jack Haines is English. Makes sense”

That would make the date the 9th of December. Which was yesterday.

As expected, absolutely nothing happened and CEO John Baloney Karony needed a quick and easy excuse to A) fulfil the cryptic promise from June and B) get the screaming investors off his back.

What would you do in such a situation? Probably admit what you had planned, explain why it’s not materialised and then either give a new approximate date or scrap it with an apology.

What does John Karony, Safemoon CEO wünderkind do?

“hush, Halo time”

Not once.


These are people asking the CEO on the public discord what is happening with promised roadmap features, and his response is to hand wave them away and say “I’m playing Halo today”

This, in the context of Bitmart exchange being hacked and some 27 Trillion safemoon tokens being dumped on the market, against the backdrop of Safemoon CBO leaving and then a 20T wallet mysteriously and conveniently awakening and dumping its entire contents on the market, in the context of several missed deadline, incomplete product launches, mass departure of core members.

And the CEO’s best response is to say “Shut the fuck up and let me play Halo in peace”

Truly we are living in an idiocracy.

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